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Fun Page 3

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The A-Class Shuttle

Who was visionary here: Star Trek, or rather Mercedes-Benz?
(image by Thorsten Wieking)

 

Top ten fun things to do aboard a Borg cube

10. Return the drones' favor and blind them with a laser pointer.

9. Make a shuttle race around the central core.

8. Replay Janeway’s words "That’s how I prefer the Borg. In pieces." every hour.

7. Occasionally create false sensor readings of Species 8472.

6. Record "We are the Borg", "You will be assimilated" and "Resistance is futile" and make it into a hip-hop song.

5. Let them assimilate a Windows PC.

4. As soon as a Borg enters the alcove for regeneration, play "Silent Night".

3. Put 100W light bulbs into the lamp shades of the alcoves.

2. Program all nanoprobes to create collective diarrhea.

1. Fill the tubes to a Borg’s mouth with helium and let him say "Resistance is futile".

 

Top ten fun things to do aboard a Klingon Bird-of-Prey

10. Turn the cargo bay into an aquarium.

9. Take a dentist with you who may earn a fortune.

8. Embarrass the captain by asking how long his ship actually is.

7. Call the decorator who designed the Galaxy-class bridge to make some improvements.

6. Ask the older crew members when they had their forehead surgery.

5. Occasionally play Tribble squeaks from your tricorder.

4. Fry the gagh and serve it with ketchup.

3. Secretly uninstall the cloaking device and use it to hide your comfortable mattress.

2. Move the wings up and down until they break off.

1. Pour a few cans of strawberries into the bloodwine.

 

Top ten fun things to do aboard a Vulcan ship by Tenniru

10. Keep scanners trained for bald geniuses traveling at the speed of light.

9. Let Porthos into the captain's quarters.

8. Replace the Surak statue's lower robe with a toilet.

7. When Sarek comes aboard, ask "Aren't you that Romulan captain?"

6. Ask them when the next trip to the 1900s will be.

5. Whenever a crewman corrects your logic, accuse them of being emotional.

4. Leave a whoopee cushion on the captain's chair.

3. Show a picture of an egg on the viewer, and say "This is your brain." Then show a picture of a zombie and say "This is your brain on Trellium-D."

2. Steal the tractor beam.

1. Show clips of T'Pol saying that time travel is impossible, and then point and laugh.

 

Top ten fun things to do aboard a Romulan Warbird by William Kappler

10. Buy gold pips to replace your silver ones.

9. Swap the cloaking device with a photon torpedo.

8. Translate the computer core into Klingon.

7. Toss things into the quantum singularity to see if it will fill up.

6. Turn the navigation computer upside-down so that the ship enters Federation space.

5. Drink all the Romulan ale and replace it with Mountain Dew.

4. Set the main transponder to send out the ship's position when cloaked.

3. Call the Ferengi and tell them that you will pay 4,000 bars of Latinum to the first one that can make the commander smile.

2. Tell the crew that the Praetor coming to visit them.

1. Sing Klingon opera over the main comm system for 8 hours.

 

The Forty-Seven Weirdest Search Terms (as of 2001)

My server logs give me the opportunity to see how people came to my website. Many of them found EAS through Altavista, Google or other search engines, usually with search terms like "starship images" or "Enterprise blueprints". However, sometimes people obviously don't find what they were looking for. There are, for instance, many "<insert female Trek character> nude" searches returning results because the word "nude" can occasionally be found on pages with episode descriptions. Here are the weirdest searches that led to EAS (some mild adult language here):

47. The+Heart+A+pressurized+Fluid+System

46. images+drawings+strawberries

45. andrea landru

44. woman+who+have+done+nude+scenes+in+movies

43. ARA Dental Laboratories

42. "DUMB NATIVES"

41. rubik+cube+%22quick+solution%22

40. wolf+died+pic

39. Tom+Paris+changed+Hansen+child+Chakotay+intentions+Earth+Seven+born

38. room size vs tv size

37. tchaikovsky bride of

36. astrix pictures

35. illustrated "first time" stories

34. "Photographs of bullet holes"

33. cat+woman%22+and+%22make-up%22+and+%22Halloween%22

32. www.nude klingons.com

31. strange mathematics

30. markus+wolf%2c+pictures

29. frontpage+is+slow

28. OLD FASHIONED BATHTUBS

27. "red hair men"

26. +casimir +effect +dangerous

25. blown challenger pic

24. row boat star trek

23. unreadable+programs+in+c+cryptical

22. "women are taller"

21. female+fist+fights

20. do+star+trek+characters+actually+go+nude+in+their+scenes

19. Inventor+of+Time+Zones

18. live+in+transporter

17. cage fights for women

16.
suaheli cannon

15. kelly%27s+funeral

14. duotronics+shooting+range

13. Rare+or+interesting+facts+about+Galileo

12. before+after+hairstyle+gallery

11. glorified+photonic+body

10. Singing+%28Spock+and+the+space+hippies

9. shakespeare+perhaps+today+is+a+good+day+to+die+worf

8. jeri+ryan+%2b%22high+resolution%22+-nude (Note the "-" in front of "nude" which is a "+" in all other searches!)

7. awful frontpage

6. drawing impossible shapes

5. nude rock climbing

4. the+doctor+shrank+janeway

3. Leonardo+da+Vinci%27s+sexual+experiences

2. ESCORTS IN AMARILLO

1. time traveling devices AND bathtubs

 

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Last modified: 08.10.10  
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